Please Reblog This

longblonde-hair:

I guess you could say I’ve had a pretty hard life. I have an eating disorder that I have been struggling with for over a year now, I have dysthymia…which is a form of milder depression and I have scars on both of my hip bones from cutting. I have also attempted suicide TWICE. The first time was last year in November…I thought there was no way out, and I felt like I was suffocating. I felt like my life couldn’t get any worse, and after a really bad fight with my mom I just lost it. I went down into my basement, and into the storage room which was unfinished. I tied a rope to one of the steel bars on the ceiling, stood on a chair and thought this was it. Well it wasn’t, the rope came untied right away and I fell to the ground…it didn’t even do any harm to myself other than a few bruises from the fall. I went back upstairs like nothing had ever happened. My mom still has no idea about that night. The second time I attempted was in March of this year. This time it was bad. My family got into a huge fight, just the week before this I got diagnosed with dysthymia, I haven’t been eating, my cuts were getting deeper, my family was just tearing apart. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I felt like it really was my time to go. I wrote a letter saying goodbye and at this point I was crying, but I was calm, I accepted the fact that I would soon be gone. I was going to go onto tumblr to say goodbye to all of my beautiful followers but then I read my messages. Multiple messages saying I was a bitch and a whore, I scrolled down after a good amount of hate messages and then I read it. “Kill yourself”. And that’s what did it for me. I went down to the kitchen and I got the pills then went up to my room, then I woke up in the hospital. My mom found me that night… she was lying beside me in the hospital bed saying over and over “it’s all my fault”…but it wasn’t. She wasn’t the reason I tried to commit suicide…i mean she maybe made me think about committing suicide but never was she the one who pushed me over the edge. It WAS that anon message along with all of the other hateful messages that I got that night. I might of not been here today if it wasn’t for my mom finding me. The point of me telling you all of this is for one reason; to remind EVERYONE that getting hateful  messages DO hurt…they do haunt you for the rest of your life, and they may be the reason why someone’s laying on the ground dead. If I got even one message telling me that I was beautiful or an amazing person, then that might of saved myself from attempting suicide. But no, instead I got a handful of hateful messages. Because of a few heartless people, my mom will be haunted for the rest of her life thinking she was the reason why her little girl wanted to kill herself. I let a bunch of anons ruin my life once, and I won’t let them do it to me again. So go ahead and send me a hateful message, it won’t bother me because I am strong now, but guess what? Some people aren’t as strong as I am now. Some people might be at such a weak point in their life like I was a short time ago that they may just try to commit suicide from a hateful message. Please stop sending hate messages. It’s just not worth it and I don’t think you want to be the cause of another teen suicide.

(via fabniam)

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